I’m not sure what to judge it against, but I think I am doing well. This was not unexpected. Every time I went to my oncologist, I knew this might be the day. Last Wednesday, it was. Afterwards, Roger and I looked at each other and repeated back what the oncologist had said. We hugged.
The battle has begun.
It’s a battle physically, emotionally and spiritually.
- It’s a time to hold on to what you know is true.
- It’s a time to not give into fears.
- It’s a time to give to others.
- It’s a time to focus on what will last – here and eternity.
- It’s a time to rest, physically and spiritually, and let God take over in our minds and hearts.
I won’t say I haven’t shed tears. This is hard. But with my personality, I get more into facing the challenge than into the feelings, especially my own.
I have tremendous hope, not in living, but in my Lord.
Wherever I am, He is there. He will never leave me or forsake me.
I am sad for those who love me, and my “hope” is in the fact that God has allowed these circumstances not only into my life, but into their lives. They are part of his opportunity-giving for them to grow and deal with things they might not normally deal with. God has been so gracious to give me these 6 years, and I lean into His grace right now.
God’s grace will cover them as well.
All in all, when I look at the list above, this time is not that different what should be true of all of my life. It’s transferring values into a new set of circumstances. It’s “spiritual breathing” on a whole different level.
Thank you for journeying with me through this. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. God is still the god of heaven and earth, and today, in this moment, I choose to rest in Him.