Author Archives: Maggie

Mercy – Psalms 116

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Years ago I wrote a poem about the “edge” of death, literally, in my cancer journey. Psalm 116 has been a mainstay in my perspective and echos the Psalmist feelings as he peers over the edge and as I continue to cry out to the Lord..

I love the LORD, because he has heard
My voice and pleas for mercy.
Because he inclined his ear to me,
Therefore I will call on him as long as I live.

I have a perspective on life I did not have before the cancer journey. Why he would be sparing me and not others, I don’t understand. It is pure mercy.

And because of that mercy, I know each day, each week, each month, each year is a gift for me to give back to him.

The snares of death emcompassed me;
the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me;
I suffered distress and anguish.
Then I called on the name of the LORD:
“O Lord, I pray, deliver my soul!”

 Let me say, this journey has not been a walk in the park. I suffer physical pain, especially with each broken bone and/or surgery. And the emotional side of wondering if each holiday, each visit with family and friends, is difficult. It’s even harder with each sin, wrongdoing, that injures myself or others. So I call on the Lord to free my soul so that I can live rightly in the health and freedom he has given me for today. Because…

Gracious is the LORD, and righteous;
Our God is merciful.
When I was brought low, he saved me.
Return, O my soul, to your rest;
For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.

I don’t know why I am here when so many others have gone before me. I can only believe it’s because of his mercy, his vision for my life. It’s certainly not because I deserve more than others, am more talented, am more valuable. I am the “simple” who has been brought low. And my rest, my only rest, is in him.

For you have delivered my soul from death, 
My eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.
I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

The chapter goes on, which may be for another day, but I can’t help but camp on the last statement as my mantra. Each time he gives me a new day, each time he delivers me from what is to come, from pain, from fear, I claim from him the strength to…

Walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

Sum of “Some” – Psalm 107

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Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,
For his steadfast love endures forever!
Let the redeemed of the LORD say so
Whom he has redeemed from trouble…(v1-2)

How do you digest a long Psalm like Psalm 107?

Thankfully, the Psalmist helps us, first with his beginning. It’s the motivation for him to write the Psalm as well as our introduction to the Psalm. And it’s his conclusion wrapped up in the introduction — it’s God’s steadfast love that redeems us!

And how do we get in trouble?

Some wandered into desert wastes,
Finding no way to a city to dwell in; (v4)

Mankind was not made to live in isolation, physically or emotionally. We need others in our lives.

What does God do?

For he satisfies the longing soul, 
and the hungry soul he fills with good things. (v9) 

How else are we in trouble?

Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
Prisoners in affliction and in irons,
For the rebelled against the words of God 
and spurned the counsel of the Most High. (v10-11)

Some of us are caught in darkness brought on by rebellion, resulting in punishment as society rejects what we have done.

What does God do?

He delivered from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,
And burst their bonds apart. (v14b-15)

And what other kinds of trouble needs redemption?

Some were fools through their sinful ways,
And because of their iniquities suffered affliction. (v17)

And some of us are suffering the results of our sin that we have gotten away with – you know, those little ones like gluttony, alcoholism, hatred, lust and so on which eat us up from the middle out.

He sent out his word and healed them, 
And delivered them from their destruction. (v20)

And how about one more “some” that really hits home?

Some went down to the sea in ships,
Doing business on the great waters; (v23)

All of us who are trying to gather wealth on our own, going up and down with the stock markets, watching our retirement funds dwindle, this is for us…

He delivered them from their distress.
He made the storm be still,
And the waves of the sea were hushed.
Then they were glad that the waters were quiet,
And he brought them to their desired haven. (v28b-30) 

The sum of “some” equals all of us. We have all sinned. We need to call on his name. We need his redemption.

Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things;
Let them consider the steadfast love of the LORD. (v43) 

Today – Psalm 95

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For he is our God
and we are the people of his pasture
and the sheep of his hand.

Today,
if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts as at Meribah,
as on the at Massah in the wilderness. (7-8)

What a contrast! Sheep munching in pasture or hard hearts wandering in a wilderness.

We have a choice to make.

It’s not “if” he is God – he is God. We can claim science and believe theories, but that does not negate his existence. 

And it’s not “if” he is only the God of the universe – he is our God. He created us with a God awareness, a spirit, other animals do not have. He created us in his image.

And it’s not “if” we are the people of his pasture. He created earth, a beautiful pasture, for us to live in. It wasn’t our choice to be born on earth. He choose us and set us in an amazing location that fits our needs, our desires.

And it’s not “if” we are the his sheep, of his hand. He not only placed us here, but he holds us here. It’s so very personal. His hand guides, touches us, caresses us, protects us, is all around us.

The choice is “today.”

Today, how am I going to respond to his presence, to what he has given us, where he has placed us, is holding us in his personal and tender presence?

Today, if I hear his voice, how am I going to respond? When I see nature, the ruby red tomato on my tomato plant, am I going to take credit for its brilliance? Am I going to say it got here by evolution?

Today, am I going to harden my heart to the possibility that there is a God? Am I going to harden my heart and refuse to believe he is a personal God? 

The writer of Hebrews pondered the same questions of “Today,” repeating it 3 times (3:7, 15, 4:7). He wanted to make it clear that we have a choice on how we live. And if we don’t respond to all God is and gives to us, we will wander in our minds, hearts and spirits. We will not enter into the state of rest God desires for us.

I need rest from my own wanderings…

Legacy – Psalm 90

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Another word I listen for in reading Psalms is “generations.” Maybe it’s because of my cancer, but women especially have a sense of building character and truth into their children, trusting that goodness, godliness, will go on through their lives.

But men also have a sense of legacy. Often it is in the area of providing for their family. They desire to build empires, or at least possessions, an inheritance to give to their children. They desire to teach their children how to provide for themselves and their families, how to be successful.

Psalms 90 starts out with…

Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations.

Days come and days go, each one building on the last, each one uniquely its own. But the Lord is consistent in his character each day. He is our dwelling place, the place we come home to, rest in, rely on. He’s not just home for us, but for all our generations.

I think that’s important to teach our children, that God isn’t who we visit on Sundays, but God is who we rest in daily. 

God is home.

I remember when one of our children wandered from the Lord. They wanted to figure out for themselves where they wanted to place their faith. When we would get together for lunch occasionally, I would ask, “How are you and the Lord doing?”

After months of “Oh, Mom…” replies and getting pushed away, I was surprised one day with a “I really miss him…”

He was missed as a dwelling place, a home, where there was rest, rejuvenation, strength.

Anyway, that was a rabbit trail – what I really wanted to talk about is the last verse…

Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
And establish the work of our hands upon us;
Yes, establish the work of our hands!

There is longing in all of us that what we do will last beyond ourselves; that all the mothering we do will go on in our children’s character; that the firm financial base we build will not be wasted.

So much of what we do doesn’t last. The dishes get dirty. Bills come due. We work and then do it again the next day. Stock markets come and go. Cars break down. People die.

The hope of life is that something will last; something will matter. Maybe it will be our reputation others will remember. Maybe it will be memories our grandchildren have. Maybe it will be something we have written. Maybe it will be something we handmade, or something our children were able to buy, because we gave it to them. 

We’re powerless to make things endure. We are powerless to influence how people remember us once we are gone. 

We only have today.

So we pray to the Lord to make this day meaningful, memorable, to truly “establish the work of our hands.”

A Timeless Question – Psalm 82

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Over and over again, I remember David asking God why he seems to be blessing the unjust. But in Psalm 82, I saw a twist I’ve never seen before.

God asks us why we judge unjustly…

“How long will you judge unjustly and show partiality to the wicked?”

Wow.  In the midst of these turbulent times, it’s quite an indictment. Are we showing partiality? Why? What motivates us? How are we showing partiality? Do we judge unjustly?

He then describes to us a way out…

“Give justice to the weak and fatherless; 
maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. 
Rescue the weak and the needy; 
deliver them from the hand of wicked.”

I’ve avoided topics around racial tensions in the US, but this hit me as a slap in the face. It’s not a political issue. It’s a compassion issue. Even more, it’s a justice issue.

Do we dominate poorer communities because they are weaker? Are there “wicked people” who get their strength from overpowering others? Is there a people, a race, who has been afflicted and destitute of their rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Are they being taken advantage of for personal gain?  

Have I contributed to this injustice? 

What is my responsibility to give justice?

So many questions come out of one pure, timeless, question. Asked over and over again through the centuries. Through every culture. Because every culture has been the same, and it hurts the heart of God. 

 How am I going to respond? What are my answers? What is God asking me to do?

I wish I had more answers. Right now I don’t. I will listen, continue to listen, to God and to others. And I trust God will show me, will show us, what heart change that is needed and what actions need to follow.

Pray with me. 

I Am Excited! Psalm 72

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There have been times when I have questioned the emotions of God – does he feel or is he emotionless, something like “the force” in Star Wars?

When I am reading scripture and come across a question, I mark a “Q” in the margin. Bob Tiede, a friend of ours, talks about “leading with questions” and I’m always fascinated with how Jesus and God’s word often asks questions so that we discover his character. 

Reading through Psalms, I decided to also mark exclamations marks. In a world where we are reprimanded for using them too much on social media and text, they are used all over in Psalms. For example, in Psalm 70, every sentence, every line is marked with an exclamation! 

In Psalm 72, all of the lines are exclamations, except for verses 12-14.

For he delivers the needy when he calls, 
the poor and him who has no helper. 
He has pity on the weak and the needy, 
and saves the lives of the needy. 
From the oppression and violence he redeems their life,
 and precious is their blood in his sight.

In the midst of all of David’s excitement about the Lord, all his power, his might, he changes tone when talking about God’s love and compassion for the needy. It’s as if he looks down from the stars, through all of his amazing creation, and sees…me.

It’s not that he isn’t excited about me. But all that pent up power, all that majesty, would simply be too much for me to bear. Instead, he comes gently, like a shepherd, like the “good shepherd” Jesus, picking me up out of the “oppression and violence” of this world and redeems my life…and even calls me precious.

Amazing…

And I can get really, really, really excited about that!!!

How about you? Remember when he picked you up and called you precious?

And to the Children – Psalm 78

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Psalm 119 is not the only long Psalm. Psalm 78 might be the next longest. But for good reason…

We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord,
and his might, and the wonders he has done. (v 4)

So often we keep what God is doing tucked away in our hearts. After all, religion is deeply personal, right? It can divide, and like politics, it’s not polite conversation, at lease my mother taught me. Although now talking about politics has certainly become in vogue no matter what it’s division. So why not our faith?

Especially to our children, and our children’s children. Why should we?

So that they should set their hope in God. (v7)

Otherwise, what are they going to hope in? Science? Social change? Political parties? Money? Pleasure? 

When you are as old as many of us, we know those don’t satisfy. One scientist contradicts the other or new discoveries are made that fit into a “theory” that then become scientific truth. And who created creation, what scientist’s believe in? Scientists create systems that assume there is no god, setting themselves as gods.

Social change? Political parties? We may defund the police, but we still need systems of justice. A new power system always erupts. Money? Pleasure? Living for one’s self? Is that really satisfying? 

David recounts the history of Israel to the children, just as we recount our personal histories to our children. It’s the grace of God, nothing else, that I am still alive. It’s the grace of God we have any money as people have graciously supported our ministry. It’s the grace of God that we are still married after 50 years!

I love David not only tells the good parts, but the bad parts so

…that they should not be like their fathers,
a stubborn and rebellious generation,
a generation whose heart was not steadfast,
whose spirit was not faithful to God.

Have you told your kids, your grandkids, about your sin, your failure, your rebellion? We tend to whitewash the past, lest someone think negatively about us, lose respect. But we know it. And how can our kids know the depth of God’s forgiveness unless they hear about the depth of our sin? 

The rest of the chapter recounts the ups and downs of the Israelites. I’m sure our grands could not sit that long, but we can give them bits and pieces. To me it is summed up in verse 22…

Because they did not believe in God and did not trust his saving power.

Two things are essential: believe in God, trust his saving power.

When we do, life works. When we don’t, it may work for a while, but eventually it implodes.

Let’s tell that to our children…

(I love getting comments, so please write me!)

My Psalm – Psalm 71

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Why, as an introvert, would I join Cru, one of the most evangelistic movements in the world?

In college, I was so shy, it was hard for me to buy things in stores. As soon as a clerk said, “May I help you?” I retorted, “No… just looking.” I may have known exactly what I wanted, but in that moment, I could not get the words out.

A year later, I was part of a movement that had us walking up to strangers, asking if they had “ever heard of the Four Spiritual Laws.” I did it, but I wasn’t ever comfortable.

After serving seven years (painful for me in my shyness), we left for 4 years in business. But then, the Lord called us again to serve, and I struggled. God created me, and I was shy. We were also no longer college students. Why would he call us back into this movement?

Enter Psalms 71.

I won’t go through it phrase by phrase but just highlight key verses.

For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth.

I had come to know Christ young, memorized scriptures, and as long as I didn’t have to speak in public about my faith, I was comfortable with letting my faith go deep.

Do not cast me off in the time of old age;  forsake me not when my strength is spent.

I wouldn’t call 30 “old age” but we now had three children and certainly felt we had entered a new era of life. Life was so chaotic, sometimes I had to pick between bathing the kids or taking a shower myself! Cru felt like college students, and I wondered if I could keep up.

O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wonderous deeds.  So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me,  until I proclaim your might to another generation,  your power to all those to come… You will increase my greatness and comfort me again.

Cru’s emphasis was leading the next generation to Christ. I was sitting, with babies on my knee, desiring them to know Christ, desiring others to know Christ. His promise to me, in the midst of my shyness, was to be with me, never forsake me, and comfort me.

That was enough. I signed up again. That was 40 years ago. Some people are surprised to hear how shy I was because I learned to take initiative, became convinced that if the Lord was telling me to say something, it was sin for me to hide it within myself. And God has been there to comfort me as Roger and I both increased in responsibility.

Sometimes God asks us to do things outside our comfort zone. But he has promised his presence to go with us. What more do we need than to trust him?

Desperation – Psalm 69

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Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the deep mire where there is no foothold;I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am wary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God. (Psalm 69:1-3)

I’ve been there, haven’t you? Desperate for my God. Waters rising, sometimes slowly, sometimes a rush. I loose my footing; everything that gave me balance slowly slips away, like mud eroding beneath my feet. The water gets deeper and I can’t touch bottom, or even know how deep it is. The terror overwhelms until capacity runs out. I’m weary, limp, letting each wave move me until the light of hope grows dim.

Right now is a scary time. Things that once supported us are slipping away. We see the waves of Covid come closer. Economics are uncertain and jobs are slipping out from under us. Politics are uncertain with values, assumptions, even familiar sites are destroyed. We reach out, but little is secure.

And it’s probably not as deep as it may get in the future, when we actually lose our job, our health, our “nest egg.” The anxiety we feel now is actually a good thing because it helps us to keep fighting. But what about when we become so overwhelmed that we don’t have the strength to go on…

My goal has not been to depress you, and I apologize if I have brought you down, but I have found, personally, that facing reality even if it is hard, is helpful. I know what to expect, what feelings I am going to have. And then, in faith, I can start claiming God’s “steadfast love.” Psychologists call it “normalization” — in realizing feelings are overwhelming as much as “normal” in a situation like we are in.

It’s normal to feel desperate to lose a loved one without being able to say goodbye or give one last hug. It’s normal to jump when someone sneezes. It’s normal to mourn the loss of co-workers who are laid off. It’s all part of our desperation, the mud slipping from underneath out feet.

What do we do with desperation?

I would lose all hope except for the “but” in the Psalms…

But as for me, my pray is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love, answer me in your saving faithfulness. Deliver me from sinking in the mire; let me be delivered from my enemies and from the deep waters. Let not the flood sweep over me, or the deep swallow me up, or the pit close its mouth over me. (Psalms 13:15)

First, it is a choice…for me…the “who.” Will I depend on the news source, the medical community, the political party, even my family and friends as wonderful as they are?

Second, I recognize who is in charge of “when” is an “acceptable time.” My Lord and my God, who made the universe that we are just now figuring out how old it is! He created time, the sun and the moon that tell us what day it is. He knows, from his perspective, what is the “acceptable time” in my life.

Third, I realize the “why” he would save me — his steadfast love. Covid, injustices, destruction, even death are not beyond his “steadfast love.” It’s his heart, his motivation, it’s what he feels (yes, God is not unfeeling) towards me.

Fourth, I embrace the “how” — his “saving faithfulness.” No enemy is more powerful than the creator of the universe. No matter what the outcome of the elections, the diseases, the economy, or anything else that may take my life, my livelihood, my security, he has me. He will be faithful because faithfulness is his character.

I end up feeling as if someone has put rocks beneath my feet — four of them! The who, when, why and how. My head rises above the water. I feel a surge of strength, of hope.

I don’t know “what” is going to come next, but I have made the choice to stand on his rocks and pray, pray, pray!

The Connection – Psalm 59

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O my Strength, I will watch for you, for you, O God are my fortress. My God in his steadfast love will meet me…

O my Strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love.

When I read scripture, I try to note repetition of thought. If God is saying it multiple times, maybe it’s something I should listen to. While reading Psalm 59, the word “strength” caught my attention. 

The Psalm starts like so many others around it – David is running from enemies, desperate for God’s intervention.

Verse 8 has the key word “but” which means we are going to have a change in direction, a change in perspective. Then verse 9 and 17 have the phrase,

“O my Strength…”

“Strength” is capitalized, signaling it is a name for God. You see, God doesn’t just give strength, or is source of strength. He is “Strength.” That is who he is.

The connection I saw was in the next verse, in both cases, with the phrase, “steadfast love” (“lovingkindness” in NAS/KJ). 

Then it hit me.

Who he is, “Strength,” is connected to his “steadfast love.” That’s how he communicates his strength to us. 

It’s amazing the strength human love gives a person. They can wait patiently, expectantly, for a love to return. They can fight, physically and emotionally, for the safety of a loved one. They can serve humbly someone they love.

Think of God. With so much more strength and love then we will ever know, his thoughts are towards us.  We are his delight. He is Strength communicated to us through his steadfast, unrelenting, love. 

I have strength, because God loves me.

I don’t always feel it, often because I don’t take the time to feel it. Breathe it in. Fill your lungs with the thought, “I have strength, because God loves me.” Inhale it as the breath of life…

He is the Strength of life communicated to me through his love.

For what do you need strength? How can I be praying for you?