But I did go to the doctor and was able to ask him more directly what happened after he put me asleep to make him change the course of the surgery.
Simply, he talked to Dr. Cole. Dr. Cole is a world renown orthopedic doctor and the head of the practice. They had consulted earlier and affirmed the use of protein, but I guess the question stirred more within Dr. Cole. He did more research and told my doctor right before surgery that research did not support the use of protein with Multiple Myeloma patients.
I understand authority. If my boss asked me to not send an email, I would not send it, so I finally understood the “who” of the change, and could understand it.
But I still struggled with the research. My personal experience tells me that protein works with my stubborn bones. Research studies of thousands says it may not be good for those multiple myeloma. What do you go with — the individual or the average of thousands? Obviously, they made the call from their perspective.
I can’t help think of my relationship with God. There are times when it feels as if he changes his mind. I’m headed one direction in faith obedience and (whoops!) get turned around. It’s usually confusing. Until I spend time with him and understand the “who” (God), it’s hard to reconcile it in my heart.
Even then, I may struggle with the “but” questions. I think I know best. I think I should be an exception. But his ways are not my ways. It’s because he has another perspective.
I read this a few days ago from a blog of a writer (http://skimhenson.wordpress.com/2013/04/17/making-a-choice-when-plans-change/)
“My first reaction when life spins out of my control is to figure out a way – my way – to make things right again. But I’m learning to keep my hands off of circumstances beyond my control. To pray. To act – or wait. And if waiting is what is needed, to believe that God is working to change me and to change anyone else involved.
Life will sometimes go according to my plans – and sometimes it won’t. And I choose to believe that God’s involved with both – rather than assuming I’m on my own when my plans are derailed. Just because I’m surprised by what happened doesn’t mean God is.”
I’ve been at peace, waiting on my leg to heal. We should know more May 10th. May 8th is my oncologist appointment. In the meantime, I rest in the arms of God. No doctor can mess up his will. He’s not surprised.
I’d love to hear your perspective —