I had forgotten how much I said “Hurry up…Wait” the first time I went through treatment — why wouldn’t I think I would be saying it the again? When the medical community wants action, they really push you to get your information in, but then there are all sorts of delays and communication gaps on their end.
All that to say, I did not start chemo on Monday as expected. Medications got delayed and were not delivered until Wednesday. Yesterday, as I started them, I had a bad headache but today it is better. It probably has more do to with the steroid I have to take 1/week (10 pills) so go along with the Revlimid. Today, my face is flushed and red and I hope I’m not getting the rash associated with the drug. Time will tell.
It was a sharp reminder when the package came in it’s special wrapping and all the warning labels that this is real. Even though it is oral and not infusion, it is highly controlled and toxic. And even though we are on a brief trip with friends, life is not normal. I know that as I look towards the future, this is the beginning point.
And I have choices. I can choose to be afraid. I can choose to be bitter. I can choose to detach or deny. I can choose where to put my faith and what my attitude will be.
In the meantime, I take my pills, count the days, pray, make memories and be faithful in little things. I appreciate those who think/pray for me so much during the journey. I do believe we gain strength from others.