I think I was handling the cancer pretty well. Hearing the words “cancer” and “incurable” were hard enough. Going through a bone marrow transplant was very challenging. Contracting pneumonia on top of it, experiencing the brink of death, was almost unbearable, except for your peace. Continuing to live with the knowledge that is will come back can be despairing.
But you have been with me through it all. I re-learned the simple concept of “spiritual breathing” (exhaling sin/lack of faith and inhaling the peace and power of the Holy Spirit) in the midst of different circumstances. My circumstances had changed, but your Holy Spirit had not.
And I’ve done pretty good with it. Sure their were moments, but as I look back, I did pretty good trusting you. My friends and family came around me, each trying to encourage me as they tried to deal with their own emotions and fears of death. And I’ve enjoyed these years of relative health as the cancer is growing slowly. I’ve gotten back into a routine, loving life, busy doing things I enjoy and I feel you have called me to. I’ve tried to be obedient.
Maybe that is why I am here? Maybe in the midst of feeling good about my walk with you, you wanted me to dig deeper. In the midst of my business, maybe you wanted me to listen harder. In the midst of what I thought was obedience, maybe you needed to get my attention.
Well, it worked. You got my attention. I’m listening. What do you want to say?